Back to Square 1

I can still remember losing my patience with my first child when she had her meltdown one day during the first year of kindergarten. I have no extra hands in the house, I got some deadlines at work, I have her toddler sibling in tow, and I was screaming pregnant at that time. Yeah, it may sounded like I got a ton of excuses but it wasn't an exaggeration. I wish it was! But after all the annoying cries and my temper shooting out like a volcano, I wished I had extended more patience to her. Every year the school opens again, my first child seems like having a hard time to adjust. She's easy to befriend but she finds it hard to focus on her studies. Gradually she learns to adapt to the new things at school.

This year, she will be joined by her sister. Earlier today, my second daughter took an entrance exam to see if she's fit to enter kindergarten. It was actually easy peasy! But she was throwing tantrums this afternoon. I've mustered all the patience I got in my body and in my soul but she wasn't just cooperating. The Guidance Counselor who was a nun was helping me cheer up my daughter. After almost an hour, we were able to make her answer some parts of the exam. But she wasn't able to finish it.

Walking out of the school, I felt very much drained and lost. Maybe the timing wasn't right, maybe there's really something wrong with my child, maybe I wasn't doing my job as a mom really well, or maybe a bit of all. We paused at a cafe outside the school to sort of catch our breaths. This daughter of mine is really a determined person and has a strong personality. And this mom is a kind that doesn't care if someone likes her or not. I hope we'll still get along when she grows up and when I grow old. (lol)