Sitting with them

Do you know the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible? If you don't, here's a link for a quick reading.

I often feel stressed because in my mind I have listed a lot of things I need to accomplish in a day. I'm an "aligaga" mom. Today, after saying countless times to my kids "Wait... Just a second... I'm coming...", I was finally able to sit down and watch TV with them. My eldest daughter who was feeling under the weather reached for my hand and held it for some time. For a brief moment, I felt relaxed. She must have appreciated also that time when finally my focus is with them. Then I asked her why she took my hand and she said that she just wanted "love". For her "love" means a hug. So I squeezed her hand tenderly and stroked her hair.

I had a brief reflection after that moment. How many times have I taken for granted those short times I could just sit or lie down with my kids? They would usually call my attention just so I can take a look at what they're painting or what they're building. But I would often put first what I'm currently doing: washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, cooking dinner, and so on. In my mind I would tell myself to hurry and finish the chores first so I can give undivided attention to my kids. But these things seem endless which makes my time for my daughters shorter. Although I'm 24/7 physically present to them, my mind has always been floating somewhere else.

I'm a lot like Martha complaining of doing household chores alone. Though I hate to admit it, I'm jealous of my kids and husband. They just enjoy their time while I do most of the housekeeping. But it wasn't their fault that I wanted to have a tidy house and meals on time. The pressure is just coming from me. When my daughter held my hand today, I realized what my family really needed from me: time. It's not just time to watch TV or eat meals together. They needed more of that genuine face-to-face time with them, when you can look each other in the eye and communicate easily because you don't just hear them, you actually see and feel them. Notice that whatever each of you is telling the other, communication is clearer when there's undivided attention. I feel how much they really appreciate me whenever we hug or kiss each other. I know love alone can't feed us. But with love, we can do more to give our love ones what they need and what they want.